Simple Directions for Step 3 and the Principle of Surrender

Step Three: Surrendering to a Higher Power

Step Three of the 12-Step program reads: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” This step is not just a statement—it’s a commitment. A decision to surrender our self-will and trust in something greater than ourselves. It’s where the program truly begins to shift from insight into action, as we start aligning our will with a higher purpose.

Understanding Surrender

For many in recovery, the idea of surrender can feel intimidating or even impossible. But surrender does not mean defeat—it means letting go of the illusion of control. It means no longer relying solely on self-will to fix or manage life. Step Three is about finding peace in the willingness to let go and trust in the care of a Higher Power.

“The more we become willing to depend on a Higher Power, the more independent we actually become.” —Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Three

Directions for Taking Step Three

• Read Chapter 5, “How It Works” (Big Book, pages 58–63)
• Focus especially on pages 60–63, reading them in the first person
• Read Step Three in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
• Write about how you used to understand the idea of God, and how you understand God today
• Memorize the Third Step Prayer (Big Book, p. 63)
• Take Step Three with a sponsor or spiritual advisor
• Look up the definitions of: decision, will, care, faith, surrender

The Third Step Prayer

God, I offer myself to Thee—
to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self,
that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties,
that victory over them may bear witness
to those I would help of Thy power,
Thy love, and Thy way of life.
May I do Thy will always!

Making a Decision

Step Three is about more than belief—it is about decision. Are you ready to hand over your will and your life? This decision is not taken lightly. It's made consciously, with intention. You may not feel entirely ready, but even the willingness to try is enough to begin. Talk to your sponsor, pray, meditate, and listen within.

Working with a Sponsor or Spiritual Advisor

As you approach Step Three, consider taking it with someone—a sponsor, spiritual guide, or trusted recovery friend. This act of connection reinforces the step’s message: you are not alone. Recovery is a journey walked with others, and surrender is a shared experience.

Reflections on Faith and Trust

Letting go of control is difficult, especially for those of us who tried for years to control everything. But faith is not about having all the answers—it’s about trusting the process. It's about being willing to believe that by giving up control, we gain freedom.

As you continue in your recovery journey, remember: Step Three is not a one-time action. It’s a decision you can renew every day. Each morning, you can say the Third Step Prayer and begin anew. Each challenge can be met with the reminder: I am no longer running the show.

In surrender, we find strength. In faith, we find direction. And in letting go, we find the path forward—guided, supported, and free.